Linger
by moments-of-weakness
Summary: Neela has been wandering through the city...Ray is alone in the apartment staring at old photos and remembering happier times. Could they ever find themselves back together as roomies?


**Title: _Linger_  
**

**Disclaimer: _I own no part of ER or it's characters...I simply love the show and must write when these things pop into my head_!  
**

**Summary: _Ray is home alone again and Neela is wandering around the city..._  
**

**Notes: _This is a one shot that takes place after episode 13.15 "Dying is Easy". Ray is in his apartment and Neela has been wandering around the city with that fantastic song playing in the background. This is just my version of what I think should have happened at the end of the episode...which by now doesn't make much difference considering where they left off before the hiatus! Still thought I'd share...  
_**

**_ Thanks for reading and I hope yall enjoy!_**

He continued flipping through the channels wondering why the only things on television were crappy shows, old movies and infomercials. He also wondered why, for no apparent reason, they all reminded him of her. If he decided to stay home and ended up watching something that reminded him of her, at least there was only about a half hour until Celebrity Poker and he could watch that while wishing she were sitting beside him again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She wandered through the streets, not really heading anywhere in particular. Exhaustion setting in, and no idea where she actually was, she stopped on the sidewalk to take a breath and gather her thoughts best she could. She had a million things running through her mind...between the kidney transplants earlier in the day, her coffee with Ray when she realized yet again how much she truly misses him, and topping it all off with finding out Sarah could in fact be Tony's child. She never saw that one coming and yet, in the same moment, she wondered why she didn't see it before. It made perfect sense as to why Meg always acted the way she did. So protective of Tony, protective of Sarah, craving time with the two of them and hating Neela so much for taking Tony away from the family Meg wanted. With a sigh she took in her surroundings to see just how far she had to go to get back to her place. "Oh my god" was all she could say as she began walking to a nearby doorway.

She was inside the building and walking down his hallway before she realized it was probably a horrible idea. She was certain he wouldn't be alone. Neela was almost to the door and decided to turn around and make her way home. As she turned she heard a door open, then close, and in the next moment she heard a familiar voice.

"Neela?"

She stopped. She stood there motionless, unable to speak and barely able to breathe.

"Neela, is that you?" He asked again and this time walked around her, turned and faced her with a wide grin on his face. "Hey!"

"Hi Ray" was all that managed to escape her mouth.

"Uh, what are you doing here? Are you okay? Anything wrong?" His face went immediately from happy to concerned when he realized she didn't need to be here in their hallway anymore.

"Oh, I'm okay." She paused a moment, looking around trying to figure out what sort of excuse she could use when there really was no explanation. "I just didn't want to go to Abby's. I've been walking around, nowhere in particular and I lost track of where I was." She realized he would now ask why she ended up there so to head off any questions she wasn't ready to answer she asked, "Are you going out?"

He looked at her as though she were speaking a foreign language before responding. "No, no...I..." He didn't know what to say because he didn't really know where he was headed either. "I just couldn't sleep. I guess I was going to go for a walk myself." He paused a moment. "Hey, wanna come in, have a beer or something? I think I've got some wine. No tequila though." He laughed as he watched a smile appear on her face.

She thought about the offer and instead of mulling it over in her mind, she chose to go with her instincts and not let her mind get in the way. "Sure. I can come in a while."

He grinned. "Cool. Lets go." They walked to the doorway, Ray got his key out of his pocket and opened the door for her. It felt so natural watching her walk into the apartment she shared with him not so long ago. He missed those times together. He missed _her._

"Beer okay? I have some tea if you'd rather have that. Or I have some wine." He walked into the kitchen as she took off her coat and sat down on the couch. He was watching her and seemed to forget what he was doing. He simply stood motionless in the kitchen they once shared, the same kitchen where she told him she had to move out for no other reason than they both knew why. He _still_ didn't know why. Logically he knew but in his heart he just assumed they could work anything out. That he could hide his feelings and wait for her, no matter how long it took.

Neela said "a beer is fine" without looking at him. She instead began searching for the remote, hoping to find a movie on television they could watch. She finally found the remote, hit the power button, and smiled when she saw what channel it was on. In ten minutes her favorite show...more like her obsession would be on and was set to record. "Celebrity poker?" She looked at Ray and saw he looked a million miles away. "Ray?"

He shook his head hoping to bring himself back to reality and away from yet another daydream about Neela. "Yeah?"

She smiled. "My beer? And you watch Celebrity poker? I didn't realize you liked it so well."

"Uh yeah. I guess you got me hooked on it." He turned to the refrigerator, opened the door, grabbed two beers, and as he closed the door he saw the picture of the two of them hanging under the clip. He thought about trying to hide it but decided she would never notice it. He threw his coat across the chair on his way over to the couch. Ray handed Neela her beer and sat down beside her, trying not to sit too close even though he wanted to sit as close as possible and wrap her in his arms.

"So, you were headed out. Off to see Katie? Cause if you were, I can leave. I would hate to keep you." Neela tried not to sound as dejected as she felt.

"No. I wasn't. We...Katie and I. We aren't really seeing each other anymore." Ray hoped she wouldn't ask questions because he didn't know how to explain what went wrong. He knew better though the moment she looked back at him.

"Oh, I thought the two of you were...were close. It seemed as though you were pretty close the last time I saw you together." She stopped before adding that it had in fact been quite a while since she saw them together.

He sighed. "Yeah, well sometimes things just don't work out." Ray neglected to add the reason why Katie told him it was over. Katie had given him an ultimatum...choose between his hidden feelings for Neela that he was still clinging to or Katie. He obviously choose to hang on to his ridiculous feelings for Neela because Katie was nowhere in sight and hadn't been for a while. He took the last drink of his beer and stood. "Want another one?"

Shocked, she looked at him. "Uh, no thank you Ray, I'm still on my first."

He chuckled. "Yeah, right, sorry. Well, I"m grabbing another one and when, or if you want another I'll get it." When he walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door he turned back to Neela. She was staring down the short hallway to her room. He couldn't see her eyes of course but he saw her shoulders move up and down and figured she was sighing. He grabbed his beer, shut the door, walked back to her and sat down without a word. He'd let her speak first...if she spoke at all.

Moments passed, seeming like years, and neither uttered a word. They were watching television and enjoying their time together...a moment like they'd shared hundreds of times before but none meaning as much as tonight seemed to. Tonight was a statement. A statement that says they'd gotten past whatever had happened between them. They'd moved on, each in their own way, and they are both in a place in their lives now where they could take that step closer to one another and not feel it necessary to run away or hide.

"Ray?"

Her voice startled him as it broke the silence. "Yeah?"

She laughed. "Sorry." She was grasping for anything at all to say to him and nothing seemed to be the right thing to say. At least, there were no words flowing through her brain that she felt brave enough to say.

He smiled warmly. "No, It's okay, I guess I've been used to the silence in the apartment." He cringed as he realized those words actually flew out of his mouth.

She sighed and looked down at the beer in her now trembling hands. "I know. It's pretty quiet at Abby's at night as well."

Ray couldn't say the words running through his mind. Too many things about Gates and she already knew how he felt about the other man. He wanted to ask why she wasn't with him tonight but he wasn't about to. Gates wasn't there this afternoon long enough to get a coffee so why would he be there for her tonight when it was obvious so much was on her mind? Instead he said nothing knowing the words would cut into her like a knife and that was the last thing he wanted. Instead he muttered softly, "We never really had a lot of silence here did we? Always something going on."

"Yeah, always something." She took another drink of her beer before adding. "You know Ray...there are times...moments really...well, just sometimes..." She couldn't finish her sentence. Neela couldn't let the words escape no matter how much she wanted to...no matter how much she needed to.

He knew what she was thinking. He always seemed to know what she was thinking. Ray _knew _Neela after all this time and Ray _knew _exactly what she was trying to say. It was the same thing he thought every day he woke up to the cold empty apartment that should be filled with her laughter. He placed his left hand on top of her right hand. "Yeah, I know. Me too." He squeezed her hand, finished his beer and placed the empty bottle on the coffee table. He shouldn't drink any more beer tonight. He would certainly say too much if his faculties were any more blurred. He took his hand away from hers and he felt the heat leave as quickly as he felt it the instant he touched her. "Anything else you wanna watch? Ya know, I have The Omen."

She looked over at him and smiled. "You never returned it?"

He grinned. "Well, I thought maybe one day we'd be able to watch it. Or maybe I'd be able to watch it alone and not get completely freaked out." Contemplating telling her the complete truth he paused only a moment before adding, "so I bought it and still haven't watched it." She laughed and he added "I'm telling you its a scary one! It'll mess with your mind. Definitely one of the best. The original was anyway."

"So you said." She thought a moment and realized if she stayed and they watched it, she would probably be too tired to get back to Abby's place but she felt this pang when the word no entered her mind. A battle was raging between her mind and her heart. Deciding to let her heart win out for the second time tonight with Ray, she agreed.

"Really?" He questioned, full of disbelief.

She nodded. "Why not?"

He was glowing. "Cool. Want another beer? I might grab one and I can get you one while I'm up fixing the movie and getting myself another one." He stopped himself before continuing to ramble and risk scaring her away. She was finally there..._finally home_...and he wasn't about to let the moment escape them even if she wasn't home yet to stay. They'd waited much too long...they'd been through too much...it was their moment now and he was happy as he realized Pratt was right. Much better to wait for Neela. She was definitely worth the wait and he would have waited a lifetime for her to come back home. They were home if only for tonight...and Ray Barnett held on to the idea that someday soon they could be roomies once again and Neela would come home to stay.

"Sure." Neela answered with a smile.

"Great. I'll be right back." Ray stood once again, put the movie in the player and told her to make sure she didn't start the movie before he was back. He didn't want to miss a moment. He was grinning ear to ear as he walked to the refrigerator once again, grabbed two beers, shut the door and glanced one more time at the picture hanging under the clip on the freezer door. He touched the picture, running his finger across her smiling face and turned toward the couch where she was sitting. It wasn't a dream. Neela was sitting on their couch in their apartment waiting for him to sit back down beside her so they could watch the movie he'd bought in hopes this moment would arrive. Yes, he would have waited forever for Neela...and he'll wait as long as she needs him to. His _best friend_. Hisroomie. And someday..._his love_...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_**tis all...** _


End file.
